Gravesend "Sikh Temple"

Today I was working in Gravesend (which I don't usually do). I was working with and talking to 2 students in particular for the majority of the lesson.

They were very nice lads and I could tell they wanted to start a conversation with me. One of them asked me "Are you a Sikh?" to which I said yes. He said "I thought so" (I hope I didn't make it too obvious for him). He asked me if I went to the "big temple" in Gravesend. Then what he said next totally shocked me. He said "I've been there before with one of my friends. It's a nice building . One of the blokes in the temple told me that if someone brings in a pig or some bacon then they have to knock the building down and build it from scratch." I was so speechless! It got worse, he went on to say "They preach Islam in there aswell. I saw pictures where underneath it said they were tortured and killed for not embracing Islam." I was just thinking, Hai Rabba! I told him that it was just absolute nonsense to knock down a building for something like that, let alone such an expensive building. I told him that Islam was definitely not being taught in there, and infact the pictures he saw were of brave and fearless men and women who gave up their lives rather than their faith so we could be here today. If only someone in a Gurdwara Sahib could explain to non Sikhs the maryada and relevance of pictures and stuff, it would have such a huge impact and the 'parchaar' they do to their friends etc. Rather than them thinking Sikhs are a bunch of skeptical, forceful weirdos. He also said that someone he was speaking to inside the Gurdwara said although Sikhs aren't meant to smoke and drink, it is perfectly acceptable to 'eat marijuana'. If I wasn't wearing a Dastaar I would have pulled all of my hair out by now. Either the student was hallucinating or there are some seriously misguided and dangerous individuals inside the complex.

He then brought up a video of Gravesend Gurdwara on Youtube (by himself) and it was someone's wedding. The clip showed the groom being brough in from the car park. Behind him seemed to be all of his friends and family, accompanied with 3 dhol players. At the front of this procession was, what I can only guess was his mother and aunties etc, jumping up and down and waving their arms around - on the Gurdwara grounds! He then told me that his "Sikh" friends have told him in the past that men don't have to wear turbans, they can wear patke and women can cut and remove their hair. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies!

He said "Whilst I was there they tought me some Punjabi words that I still remember." I was really impressed and asked him to say them to me. I was expecting them to be words like Seva, Keertan, Guroo Sahib but he said "I remember the words aloo gobhi, dhaal and muttar paneer!" Dhan Vaheguroo!

It's all nice and lovely having such impressive, expensive, massive Gurdware but if we are not making any effort to educate first ourselves, and non Sikhs then these nice big buildings are nothing but an illusion and we have failed as a kaum.

Taking More Inspiration From Other Faiths

Recently I've been working with a Black, Christian lady that I don't usually work with. She is notoriously known for "being the one that seriously believes in God in the office".

We were somehow talking about routines and what to do each morning (work wise). She said "Raj the first thing I make sure I do everyday is to go into the classroom, get on my knees and pray like there's no tomorrow. I pray that I have a nice and peaceful day that God has blessed me with." I thought that was very inspiring and courageous.

The other thing I noticed is when she talks to her friends and family on the phone she always ends her conversations with "God bless you and have a blessed day." I thought that was very nice and cheerful!

"I Can Still See The Blood On My Hands"

I was recently talking to a very good old friend that I went to school with since year 7. She has now moved to London and works as support worker for young disabled children.

When I saw her she told me how she had now become a vegetarian and had not eaten meat for 28 days. I found it amazing and told her she was doing a very good thing.

I asked her out of curiosity why she decided to become vegetarian, she said "I've always known that you're a vegetarian and have found it amazing. Part of my role was to take the fresh meat out of the bags when it got delivered into the centre and put it into the freezers ready to take out later on for the kids. But this one day when the delivery came in, I picked up the bag and noticed it hadn't been closed properly. Then all of a sudden the blood that was in the bag had spilled down my clothes. I couldn't believe it. It was like a scene from a horror movie. If the children had seen me like that with blood dripping everywhere they would have freaked out big time. All I could see laying in the bag was a dead pig. I felt sick and told my manager I can't do that task anymore. The worst thing is, I can still see the blood on my hands."

Vaheguroo.

Power Through Words

The other day at work as part of an English qualification I was undertaking, I had to deliver a presentation to a few of my co-workers.

One of my co-workers was marking me against the criteria for the qualification, he said the presentation can be of any length and any topic. So of course I done it about the "basics" of Sikhi.

Some of the people I work with are very opinionated and quite clueless about other religions and faiths; including Sikhi. They had never heard of a Sikh before, all they knew was 'some people' gather outside the temple when it's someone's wedding and wake the rest of the street up with that big drum. 

I only had about 5 slides on the presentation showing pictures of 5 kakkar, Singhs & Singhnia in Bana and Dastaar and about Sikhs in British history. 

My colleague who was marking me was a very typical fat, aggressive, ex army man, smoked too much and didn't look at religions lightly. 

All in all I only spoke for just under 10 minutes. My colleagues just could not stop looking at the pictures and kept saying how interesting and great the Dharam is. They really wanted to know more but we didn't have enough time. My colleague who was marking me said that it was the most interesting presentation he had ever seen/heard (bearing in mind he did not like the concept of religion, at all) and that he would save the presentation and show his students, every time he got new ones - even though it had absolutely nothing to do with his curriculum! Dhan Guroo Nanak.

If you also notice in the above picture there is a Khanda made out of wood on the wall. I turned up to work one day and saw that my colleagues had made it out of wood and painted it. They didn't tell me about it, but it sits nice and proud at the front of the classroom. They didn't put up or make any other religious symbols!

Choosing Your Sangat - To Follow The Crowd Or Not?

Let me start off by saying this is not a 'how I got into Sikhi post', this is just my experience with choosing the right sangat and why it is so important. I believe this may help many other people getting into Sikhi who are still at school.

Ok, so when I started secondary school in year 7 I was a mona (use to cut my hair), I use to listen to heavy metal and rock music and use to wear baggy clothes. I was not interested in Sikhi at all apart from having the odd Khanda sticker on my door. I didn't have any Indian friends and pretty much knew nothing about Punjabi culture.

Guroo started pulling me into Sikhi in year 10 after watching a film about Shaheed Udham Singh (I don't want to go into too much detail as I will write a post about how I properly got into Sikhi!). Basically, watching the film inspired me to keep a Dastaar - although I still used to shave. Just before getting into Sikhi fully and properly, I started to get into Indian culture. I started going to Indian parties - I never used to go before, I started doing bhangra, I started listening to Hindi music and watching Bollywood movies (Vaheguroo!) and even giving up the drums and picking up the dhol. So the only thing I needed now was Indian friends.

In my year there were only 3 or 4 other Indians. I was really desperate for "sangat" at the time so I really tried to impress them and show how "Indian" I am. We set up a dhol group, that didn't last long, and even arranged to do a bhangra dance infront of the whole school - which ended in me giving a performance by myself, Vaheguroo. At that time I really idolised Jazzy B and even wanted/started to look like him.

Long story short, thankfully for me, they were too proud of caste and I did not want to be associated with such people, and I don't think they really wanted to be associated with me.

The end of year 11 came up and I had no idea of what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. After alot of searching I applied for a Music BTEC at 6th form with another school, thinking I could actually pursue it as a career. I started on the first day and already I didn't know what it was, but something made me feel really out of place. None of the other boys really made an effort to talk me, despite me going to primary school with most of them. At lunch I had had enough so I walked home. My mum said all of the obvious things a mum should say. I knew I didn't want to give up that easily and convinced myself that I would go back the next day to give it another shot. So the next day came, I was trying to feel positive but it wasn't really happening. To help matters, during form time in the morning one of the other boys had made a Bin Laden comment and to my surprise the teacher didn't say anything, instead just laughed a little. I went to my first Music lesson and as soon I got in I remember the teacher saying "OK so your first piece of homework for this class will be due in tomorrow, I want you to write a 500 word essay on a microphone". I thought Dhan Vaheguroo I only know 10 words max about a microphone let a lone 500! As soon as the lunch bell went off I headed back home for the second time. This time I knew I didn't want to go back. I told my mum and although she was a bit skeptical at first, she eventually understood.

I went back to my old school and asked if it was possible if I could start on their 6th form, and luckily I could. I was even more happy that a couple of friends I knew from outside of school were also on the same course as me. One was 'Sikh' (mona) and the other was a Muslim. This is where the problems started.

As I was searching for "Indian sangat" I was over the moon that finally there would have been some good sangat on the same course as me.

At this point I had started keeping my dhaari. When I have finished my work during classes I would spend the majority of time listening to Keertan on my iPod and researching about Sikhi and Gurmat on the internet.

During our 'free time' in the common room they would start talking about girls. I just kept my iPod plugged in and continued listening to Gurbani. Then in class when I would listen to keertan, my punjabi friend would change it and listen to bhangra, as if he owned it. I would be listening to keertan and it would be like "Sant Janaa Mil Har Jas Gaaeiou..... meri nachdi de khul gai vhaal.." Dhan Vaheguroo! Unfortunately due to my weaknesses I didn't say anything and continued listening to bhangra. I thought oh, this is what Punjabis do nowadays, I want to be one of them so I won't say anything.

Progressively things got worse. They started bunking lessons, and I followed. They used to go to gravesend to meet girls and I just felt so out of place. Sometimes they would even go to the pub and start drinking at 2 o clock in the afternoon! Other 'Punjabis' would come and start smoking cannabis. With Guroo's kirpa I never went to these places and just went home instead.

I remember one day being pulled up in the Assistant Head Teachers office. She said how another teacher had reported some kids truanting and one of them had a turban. She was calm and knew through my previous years at the school that I was a good lad. I explained it was the sangat I was with and she said "I know." Although that really shook me up, I can't stop thinking about how amazing Guroo Sahib is. If you wear a Dastaar it means you have responsibility and you can be spotted from a crowd of millions. It was like Mahraaj was saying "You've made the stupid mistake, now you have deal with the consequences!"

Long story short (again), things continued like that but bit bit I was getting stronger in my Sikhi. We missed so much work that our tutor was constantly on our case to catch up and finish so we can get the qualification. In the end we stopped going and didn't actually get the qualification in the end. 1 whole year totally wasted!

Academically I gained nothing, but Sikhi and sangat wise I learnt a huge amount. If I would have stuck with my non Sikh friends like previous years, they would have kept me on track and I could have my BTEC now. But due to my own naivety I wanted to be around "my own kind" and I lost out on so much.

Moral of the story: Sangat doesn't mean "our own Punjabi lok", they can be white, black, blue and green. As long as they keep you on the right path that's what you want! For some reason I kept thinking being around non Sikhs is going to get my no where and being with Punjabi people is the way forward. In the end the Punjabis led me down a dangerous path and had no consideration for "our Sikhi", whilst the non Sikhs had been much more loyal to me and respected all of my beliefs.

Dhan Vaheguroo.

A Co-Workers Stag Do

The other week a co-worker of mine had his stag do (in a country I can't remember the name of). He was saying how his friends had replaced his luggage with women's clothing and he had no choice but to wear it for the time he was out there. Why he told me I have no idea, but I suppose that's the sort of 'normal' stuff that happens on stag dos.

He then told me he went into a restaurant with his friends, and across their table was another stag party who they later found out were also from England. My friend went over and starting speaking to them. As they seemed to be all Asian, my co-worker asked them what Religion they were. Half of them said Hindu and half said Sikh.

He said to me "They all had beer glasses in their hands, meat on their plates and all cut their hair. I said to them I work with a proper Sikh, and he doesn't look anything like you."

Dhan Guroo Nanak, how amazing is it that even gore know how great the daat of Sikhi is!

Taking Inspiration From Other Faiths

At work we have one student who is Deaf so she has a signer who is with her all the time during lessons. One day during lunch break, we got talking, as we do, and he started asking me questions about Sikhi.

He told me that when he was 10 years old, his best friend was a Sikh (Sukhjinderpal or something). He told me he found it really weird that he kept his hair but his 6 year old brother had a hair cut. What are you suppose to say to that?!

I then asked him about his faith. He said that he is a devout Christian and started telling me how he goes to Church regularly. I asked him how he got into signing and what made him take a sign language course. He told me that 3 years ago at his Church an elderly couple started attending. They were both deaf but no one would make the effort to talk to them at the Church - even the Priest. He said that he felt so bad and he wanted to help them so took up signing classes. He became qualified rather quickly and was able to communicate with the elderly couple. He went on to say they were extremely happy that they were finally able to communicate with someone else in the Church. He then went on to tell me that he arranged for them to go to another Church nearby where the choir sign the hymns! I was really taken back and just amazed at how someone could go through so much just to make someone happy and giving them the gift of communication! Dhan Vaheguroo.

I asked him if he has any more responsibilities within the Church. He told me that every week, without fail, he goes to the same Church 3 or 4 times a week to clean the whole place thoroughly by himself - with out receiving any money. How blessed are these people that do so much Seva for their places of worship when Sikh can't even keep satkaar of Guroo Sahib in most Gurdware.

Dhan Rab De Pyare.

The Respect From Sikhs

The other day at work the students had to research 2 different cultures apart from their own. One of the students said me "I want to research about you Raj" - Dhan Guroo Nanak! He started looking at images of Sikhs, and started asking me why my Turban was so different to theres haha!

 

He then looked for images of Sikh women and found some of Bibi Balpreet Kaur Jee and asked if women had to wear Dastaara aswell. He was so shocked when I told him even women have to keep their hair and wear a Turban. He said he's never known a Sikh woman to keep all of her hair. Dhan Vaheguroo.

 

Then the girl sitting next to him said "I've got so much respect for Sikhs". She continued "my mum works in London and has to get a taxi pretty much of all the time. In London it's mainly Sikhs and Muslims who work as taxi drivers. My mum always tells me that the majority of Muslim taxi drivers always treat her as if she is beneath them and they start flirting with her and other disgusting things, but all of the Sikh taxi drivers have treated her with so much respect so we respect Sikhs a lot." Dhan Guroo Nanak Dhan Teri Sikhi.

Apologies!

I'm aware that I haven't upadted my blog in a while, I've had problems with the internet at home and been quite busy with work and other little projects. So please forgive me, I will try and update it more regularly!

Apart from that I wish everyone a happy new year! Why not check out this video of some great veechar that was done on new years eve...

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Dass was fortunate enough to spend new years eve with Bhai Manvir Singh and other Gursikhs. After the programme we went to a local family's house to do some Simran and Amritvela. After the Simran and Bani, Bhai Manvir Singh told us his story of how he got into Sikhi, and some other stuff. 

During the whole time, I couldn't help but think how strong Bhai Sahib was with his Sikhi principles. He said some things which just made me think "Omg I can't believe he just said that!". 

Then it made me think more. Is that only because we have become too relaxed or even ashamed in our principles/beliefs? 

Every time someone (usually family or at work) trys to purposely start an argument about Sikhi or an aspect of Rehat or something, we stay quiet and just hope that they shut up. What use is there in arguing with people when neither side will change their mindset or opinions at the end?

Religious people are known in society to constantely preach about religon and look down on others who do not follow the same.

I have never once preached or spoken to anyone about religon at work (unless they ask me questions). However, I find (and this is from my own personal experience) that athiests and Christians tend to argue more about religon and question me about my lifestyle. People have told me many times that I should start eating meat etc. Usually I just stay quiet, becuase they're not looking for long detailed logical answers, they're just trying to be clever and take cheap shots at religon whilst boosting their own ego. I usually just say that animals are not for consumption of the human body and live and let live.

After hearing Bhai Manvir Singh telling us of his personal experiences, I started thinking to myself, Is it time we started being more "out there" with our principles? If people can constantly question us why we keep hair, why we don't eat meat etc shouldn't we be more firm and forceful when people question us?

It's such a shame that we live in a day and age when our own people feel the need to question everything and they themselves think they know better. Should we not just be straight up with them rather than staying silent? I've had many experiences where people in the gurdwara have questioned me on maryada and certain aspects of Sikh history. If they wanted to have an intelligent discussion then I would not have minded at all, but it's the way people put their views across - in a very angry and egotistical manner!

If these manmukh bande are so forward with their anti-Gurmat views, why aren't we like that with our Gurmat views?!

One of my new years resolutions is to become more strong and firm when people want to have 'discussions' about religon. I hope others also take this message on board.